Dr. Janja Lalich and I talk about cults (we are both cult survivors and cult researchers) and we meander through these topics: Why people join: The main thing that attracts people to cults is their own idealism. Most people are recruited into cults by friends and family. Making enemies and monsters on the outside is one way that cults keep people trapped. Isolation is a key way that cults and abusers control people; if you’re a concerned person on the outside, keep the lines of communication open if you can. Don’t argue about the cult or the leader; be a friend and include them in pleasant times to remind them of the possibilities on the outside of the cult or abusive relationship.
When people leave: Become their safe haven; don’t challenge or lecture or criticize. Let them decompress; they’ve been through hell and need some time to think their own thoughts. Support them in learning more about how cults work so that they can see how they were taken in — and how to protect themselves in the future.
About the supposed “power” and charisma of cult leaders: Cults are first and foremost abusive relationships, and you can leave them and heal. Charisma and power don’t live inside leaders: we give it to them, and we can take it back. You can save money on transcendent cult-leader-inspired experiences and just take LSD instead (this is a joke, but not really).
Listen to the podcast HERE.
Books mentioned in this episode:
- Bounded Choice
- Take Back Your Life
- Escaping Utopia
- Cults in Our MidstSee them at Bookshop
